sleezed:

When you’re girl is acting up or mad dick won’t solve it. She’s a fucking human that needs to be heard. If she’s mad sit down and talk and figure out what’s wrong. And make sure whatever it is it doesn’t happen again….. THEN DICK HER DOWN AYYYY LMAO

trait:

i literally feel like a grey cloud is surrounding me im so upset and im going back into a shell and its better that way bcos in the end im the only one who’s got my back

tittily:

my little cousin got bit by a house spider and she was crying so i went to get some stuff to soothe and numb it but before i could even walk out the door i heard her quietly whisper ‘i can’t handle the responsibility of being spiderman’

modestmgmtofficial:

everything’s so funny when u use the wrong measurement:

  • 5 gallons of homework
  • mouthful of lint
  • 20 degrees of facial oil
  • 7 pints of china
  • handful of fergi
  • 60 mph of dad